Love letter # 54

In the end, I just learned not to think about you. As long as your name never rang in my head I could float around just fine. For a while it was almost okay. But we both know the bells never stop. And sometimes … we are the rain – destined to fall. I know you won’t have changed your mind but I thought I’d just let you know. Just in case.

Love letter # 29

My empire? It was a mere exhalation. A sound I made sometimes. It added up to not much. When you kicked down the walls of my castle you let me loose. I became a child again, naked without masks, running without chains. I felt like the air. And you were flying with me, beautiful one … How ‘bout that.

Love letter # 187

Is there a reason we can’t be together? And is that reason greater than love? What an amazing tomorrow it must be to render tonight impossible. We have walked away from beauty because someone says there’s something better. Maybe there is – but I could love you while you looked for it.

Love letter # 65

It’s those hips – that’s why I’m in a swoon. The long line of that graceful neck, those opalescent eyes, that husky laugh … the way you lean forward. Yes, I am looking down your top. Isn’t that what you want?

Some fevers you just want to sweat out – some you just want to sweat. You know which one I’m talking about. Don’t pretend you don’t.

You could always lean forward a little further. We could always kiss. I think I would like the taste of that. Wouldn’t you?

This ain’t rocket science – it’s gravity … and I for one am falling.


Love letter # 70

I chose the fire. Now look. Burnt.

Does it really matter how I got here? I’m here now – wishing maybe I wasn’t – knowing I should be. Yet even though it was my ultimatum, the nights are still empty and I long for them to be filled with something akin to your nearness. The handbook says I shouldn’t but I would still kneel for the approximation of your kiss.

Now that I am here in the dirt, what matter the heights I fell from? Explanation is a palliative; and a poor one at that. I might spend all night dreaming of you but in the morning you will still be gone; and there will be a space beside me, a gap in everything that you once filled with your light.

I chose this cold. Now look. Shivering.

There is nothing we do that does not cost us something. The price we paid for love was the end of love – and the price I am paying for this conclusion I have so wisely engineered is that love has yet to reach its end.

Time, I am assured, will take some of these things away. Until then … well, I think we both know. I may be strong enough to accept this outcome but not so tough that I would not wish it otherwise.

I chose this knife. Now look. Cut.

Love letter # 145

Only when I gave in to you was I was liberated. Only when I let you in was I warm inside. Only as my heart was breaking was I truly mended.

You have brought the stars to light – and you are the colour of spring. I knew nothing of the sea until I drowned in you – and all the old maps were out of date. You re-drew the world. It’s a much better place now – and I am glad to be in it with you.

Love letter # 67

When you stood next to me last night, I caught fire. The scent of your skin enfolded me. The sound of your out breath was a soft little shove, like a fingertip tracing my jawline. Something in the pool of your gaze unzipped me. And that beat before you left … that moment held. In such wonderful silences everything is known. But now I want to know more.