Love letter # 180

In the silence it’s all too obvious. There’s only noise between us and the quiet. And all these little scrawls that make letters, that turn themselves into words – they are nought but scratching.

Yet still we keep saying I love you. Still we keep making those sounds. We may know its folly; just some invention. Yeah – some invention. How could I not surrender? How could I not bathe in the light?

I decide to love you – but I love that you let me.

Love letter # 149

I remember the flickering light, the bass drum deep and physical, the whites of your eyes, the way your hips moved – the promise of their exhausted, sweating sex. We felt so cool then; so hot, so untouchable. Now we watch TV and worry about the kids. Life turns. The tracks play out, the lights come up and it’s time for dawn and headaches. But I look across at you – and I’m still dancing.

Love letter # 292

… and then it was like voices singing, angels in amazing harmony, something coming from the earth but filling up the sky. Like rain when its falls in whispers; it’s cool, soft breath on my skin, so complete.

I breathe to have you in me. I sigh to understand. I drink to feel you close – that there might never be a wall between us. That we might fly.

You are like my atoms on fire. Bits of me are fizzing – electric – all of it maddening in my blood; a wild, ecstatic tide, a flood so lovely. I swear sometimes – the beauty is almost too much and I am nigh surrendered. Utterly melted. Become a part of you.

… and then I look around and see that I’m still here. One piece. Still breathing. Feeling cleansed. Light. And all because you loved me. That was everything.

Love letter # 130

There was a time when I looked to the sky for fireworks. Now I look at you. You are where the stars burst. This is how my nights are coloured. The angels can stop their singing, the bells cease ringing – you are here beside me, where even oceans come to heel. If I once knelt for miracles, now I kneel for you. In your skin; the sum of all things. All beauty in your lovely hands. And me, the lucky fool, stumbling into you.

Love letter # 168

I had no inkling; no pause to think it could ever be like this. You came from an unimaginable place – snuck up on me, overwhelmed me. Yours was the beam that passed right through me.

Yet it was nothing; over before the flowers, spring snuffed early – jump cut to winter. With but a spark the world burned down – and now even ashes are on fire.

Why was I shown this incredible thing and then denied it? To be like this. To be free of everything. To know that even thought will burn away and memory crumble to hushes.

You are so distant now it is as though I had invented you, composited you from misread signs and wild abandon. You are the love that never was, the light that shone for an instant, promising beautiful stars. It’s night time now. It almost always was.

I get through the days very well – most nights too. In fact I barely think of you. All I have is what you triggered in me – this oceanic feeling – this sense of beauty everywhere. Even your ghost is a gorgeous dancer.

Always was.