Love letter # 168

I had no inkling; no pause to think it could ever be like this. You came from an unimaginable place – snuck up on me, overwhelmed me. Yours was the beam that passed right through me.

Yet it was nothing; over before the flowers, spring snuffed early – jump cut to winter. With but a spark the world burned down – and now even ashes are on fire.

Why was I shown this incredible thing and then denied it? To be like this. To be free of everything. To know that even thought will burn away and memory crumble to hushes.

You are so distant now it is as though I had invented you, composited you from misread signs and wild abandon. You are the love that never was, the light that shone for an instant, promising beautiful stars. It’s night time now. It almost always was.

I get through the days very well – most nights too. In fact I barely think of you. All I have is what you triggered in me – this oceanic feeling – this sense of beauty everywhere. Even your ghost is a gorgeous dancer.

Always was.

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