Love letter # 259

You wondered why I never came back. The answer is as simple as blood – as obvious as desire. I tried to outrun my love for you; thinking that if I could not see you, hear you, be in your wondrous vicinity, that I could quell the inconvenient eruptions of my ardour.

That you are reading this would suggest that I have failed to make my escape. You followed me in my dreams. First thought after waking – last before sleeping. Every spare moment a fantasy of you loving me like I love you.

Of course, I have been through this wringer before – been so nearly destroyed by it. This is why I’m running. Not answering your calls. Hoping that silence will subdue my pointless longing.

None of this is your fault. This is me and my mad proclivity for misplaced affection. My stupid drama. I realise that perhaps you are losing a friend here – the nice guy next door – but I have so much more to lose. In a year I will be a dim memory – the weird dude who wrote you that absurd love letter. I pray that by that time I will not still be yearning for you with every sinew.

I beg your apology for this distemper. I know it was uncalled for – but when did longing ever listen to a reasonable argument?

Goodbye, beautiful lady. Sorry for my foolish heart and preposterous dreaming. Sorry that I loved you too much.

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