Love letter # 15
It started with a fire. A fire in my heart. And all my smart tricks turned to ash. I thought I was the king of everything – and then there was you – beautiful, beautiful, beautiful angel.
And now I am breathless. Now I am a feather on the breeze. Now I am the dancer – and you the song, you the sound of wonder. Even on my knees I am flying.
Tonight I walked in luminous golden vespers, in velvet evening. With my music. With my dreams of you, my love. And when it rained, I danced between the droplets – as though to hold you in my arms.
In the soft kiss of evening I felt you beside me; I could almost smell you. Your feminine power made my poor boy blood thicken. If there is a god – she is a goddess.
All that male arrogance – my so called vision of things – my pristine ordered cosmos – its stones are strewn about.
I walk now in a lovely desert of cinders, where detail melts to heat, where horizons blur the boundaries. In this smudged terror, in this new cathedral – oh my beauty, you are the queen. These tears are but jewels. Euphoria is despair.
When I love you I am without sin. When I love you everything is in sync. So what if there’s a cut or five. A little blood on the lino. Damn the cowards. What do they know?
If there is a wall, it is folly. Reduce the streets to scratches. Make nothing that is not made of love.
And now … I type. Splendour into syllables. Words in semi darkness. I have no idea where you are other than in my heart. I dance my half of our dance because it is still wonderful.
Here in the golden light – here in the golden light … your breath on my neck – your kisses sweet.
But before you click away from this; I know I this seems unhinged. I still have those Western eyes. Two and a half years ago I too would have scoffed.
I know better now.