Love letter # 85

Yesterday, a friend of mine asked, “Does it ever go away?” I had to say that it didn’t. Even now, after God knows, my breath still catches.

I could not, with any confidence, nominate the precise moment you carved your name inside me, but I can tell you now the letters still bleed. It’s not that I pine, it’s just that I catch myself with your gestures; beautiful tricks you taught me. And I think to myself – ah, there she is.

It’s then that I understand: you might be a lifetime away but you are always here. Part of me is constructed of the things you once gave. To this day, they are the better parts.

Maybe I don’t miss you at all. Maybe days go by when I don’t think of you, but when I do…it is like wine…and just for a moment I am giddy again, whirling around with you.

So yes, it never goes away. It just becomes a river, feeding all that rain back into the sea.