Love letter # 273

Exactly when I cannot say – but I am absolutely certain that somewhere along the line I was forced to abandon the illusion of control. There is, after all, something greater than me.

Don’t ask me to explain it but something about the way I loved you changed the world … from the inside. One day, I simply I woke up starving. Unhinged by hunger, I tried all the usual remedies; distraction, denial, pseudo-spiritual band aids – but I still wanted you. Some days, I almost forget you – but you were never further than a soft evening away. It was as if you had become everything beautiful; and I could feel you on my skin like warm air. You were the crisp mornings. You were the sweet smelling rain.

I was the blade of grass, covered in your dew.

The common wisdom has it that desire is the source of unhappiness but really it is the door to humility. I wanted you, you said no, and I learnt to give thanks for your beauty alone.

Desire reminds us who we are. Desire is the eclipse of conceit. By loving you the way I do – so constantly, so without bounds – I am humble, I am alive.

But these are just words – they are nothing compared to my love for you.

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