Love letter # 146

This may surprise you – but I wanted to. I ached to. But I just couldn’t. Didn’t. Too many barely healed wounds. The heaviness of history. Net result – I was just rooted to the spot. Not able to form the words, nor make the move. Easier just to walk away and have you wonder what planet I’m on. Better that you think I’m weird or, God forbid, nice. Probably you believe I was afraid of your saying no; but that wasn’t it at all. It’s yes that scares me. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with someone like you – let alone contemplate the soap opera of separation. So in the end my desire for you would not have been enough and to foist it upon you would have been selfish of me. Simply the fix of your kiss and all the unmending that would surely follow. For there is no such thing as no strings – not when the heart is involved. And mine is.

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