Love letter # 234

“When you let yourself be wrong, then you will know the truth.”

I am not sure if this is an old saying or not – but it makes sense to me in our current circumstance. I do not for one moment believe it will make you run into my arms – as I wish you would – but rather, I say it because I see that your pride and stubbornness are stopping you from having the love you deserve and the happiness you wish for. I know that you have been hurt – as I have – and I understand that the timing may not be quite right for you; but it strikes me that the wall around you is more like a prison than a salvation.

I see in you the common fear of pain – the one we all share to some degree. I am sure that you feel that to allow yourself to be vulnerable again would simply open you up to further abuse and heartache. But those who are impervious are joyless – and those who deny weakness have no strength.

You have such a beautiful kindness in you, my love. No doubt this is why you have been so hurt before. My fear is that you are retreating into hardness and suspicion as a way of negating your capacity for both pain and caring. I understand that it is too late for me but it bothers me that you may well one day shut out the one who truly is right for you.

There are so many things that I wish – for you – for you and I – but I know that the way things are right now make these things improbable. Perhaps impossible. And oh how I wish I was wrong.

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