Love letter # 392
You will see me playing it cool, doing the right thing – being adult about it. You will notice that I leave early. That I no longer call. That I smile and nod on cue.
I understand the act that is required of me. I even agree with the reasons for it. Even if arguing the point was useful – which it so obviously is not – I would keep my counsel. I have given up on you. Bowed to the facts. Officially.
But that’s me pretending. Because tonight – like last night and most probably tomorrow – I conjure the possibility of your nearness. Sometimes I kiss you in these pointless dreams. And you always smile. Your eyes full of light. And there is an ocean of love around us and we are free.
But yeah, like I said – pretending.
So now, just in case you think I don’t mean it, even these words will fall silent. Though not yet this longing.