Thank you & sorry

NOTE: Even though the landing page suggests that I am the author here, this post was originally published on the blogsite of R Prakash Rao. With their permission, I hereby share it with you. (Not sure why I was prevented from listing RPR as an author.)

And that evening, I waited to see you. To see just a glimpse of you.

Just to say Thank You.

Thank you for making me realize that I did a mistake, not once, but over the years.

Over the years, just by loving you so deeply, so purely, and so heartfully.

A mistake with which I need to deal forever.

Maybe it is beyond the words of literature.

I wish I could have explained to you that what you did was an injustice. Not only to me, but to the world. Because the world believes love is a pure form of emotional submission between individuals.

But then I felt I also needed to say sorry.

Sorry for being so real.

Sorry for being ignorant in the chapter of selfishness.

Sometimes I feel I was so adamant that I never thought of knowing anything beyond love.

Everyone has taught me something in life. But what you taught me is something I am carrying with me forever.

I never paid you for that free coaching.

I must say, you are a good teacher. 

I wish I could have said thank you and sorry to you.

Thank you for teaching me what you are.

And sorry for expecting you to be what you are not — love.

But you never came.

Not even your shadow passed by me that evening.

And I stood there, with all the words I had saved for years, speaking them to an emptiness that looked more like you than anyone else ever could.