Love letter # 162
What did I do before you? I don’t know. What on earth was I filling my time with? Just stuff, it seems. Distractions. Noise. I thought I was so smart, so cool, so together. It was all vanity. Not worthless entirely – but nothing like now.
I knew, on the night we kissed, exactly what I had been missing. When I loved you I was transformed. An empty space filled, like light on the walls of a once black cell. Your touch illuminated me – made the whole world glow.
You helped me remake everything – turn sound into song, days into joy. The temple of my hubris fell down and in its place the beautiful humility of surrender, the sheer and tender wonder of blessed mortality.
What I have found by your side is as ancient and fleeting as the earth itself. It is the eternal two count of death and renewal, creation and extinction. It is both the letting go and the receiving, the gift and the giving.
Now that I have breathed it in, felt it under my skin, there is no going back. The windows have been opened, the doors taken off of their hinges – and this house can never be closed off again.